So, even though it’s not as cold as it should be so I can still spend a lot fo time outside, I’ve come to realise that I’m slowly losing it. I’m just completely over living on top of each other like Ina and I are, I’m just too old to be in this kind of situation for too long anymore. What this means is that we need to move and we need to move NOW!! If we don’t, I fear it could have serious repercussions on our relationship because at the moment I feel like I’ve just got no space and every time we’re in the same room together (which is any time we’re at home together) she drives me up the wall……………..So, I/we’ve started to look for new apartments and I can’t help but laugh out loud on occasion in regards to the scummy standards that are often kept here.

Firstly, I’m not sure if anyone’s ever noticed, but Google just does not work for you here, to go off topic for a bit I’ve just gotta say that half the websites kept and updated by companies here are shit. They’re confusing pieces of crap that should have never made it to the web (or Google for that matter!!) What kind of a shop has a website with their address as contact details but no phone number or even opening hours? and that’s if you’ve been lucky enough to find a site with an address. Nearly every sites meta tags must be full of shit cause when you type something into Google, it consistently comes up with search results of use to fuck all.

This is also the case for apartments, but once you know the sites it’s pretty much plain sailing apart from the fact that the sites are so poorly designed and backward it turns a simple task into a fucking nightmare. After living here for the last 8 months or so I’m pretty sure there is no such thing as German efficiency anymore, I’m not even sure who coined up that saying, no one has a fucking clue about efficiency nor even cares. They tailor themselves to the German market and therefore choose not to compete, or even keep up with the international market which keeps everyone safe, warm and cosy………….just nothing changes. I mean seriously, how many companies here advertise themselves as being unbureaucratic??? I’d never heard of that until I got here and you know why, because it’s not valid in Sydney, sure there’s some level of bureaucracy as I’m sure exists everywhere but never before have I seen bureaucracy permeate all areas so effeciently and completely to the extent it has here. I guess if that’s the case then I’m wrong, there still does exist some kind of efficiency in Germany.

Anyway, back on topic, we had a look at some dives on Sunday and I could hardly believe some of them. It’s quite common here to take the light fittings and even kitchen with you if it was not installed originally when you moved in. We had a look at one place in which the floor boards were so warped you’d have a hard time balancing a coffee table on them, there were no light fittings, there was an oven in the kitchen but that was all – no cupboards, shelves etc and there was a balcony which “featured” standing space for half a real person. All in all this was a crap place but funnily enough, one of the most expensive we viewed. The asking price was €545.00 warm which means everything included (water, cable etc) and I can understand how this doesn’t sound like a lot of money when compared to wherever you’re living but when you consider that I’m on about €1100.00 per month after tax it takes a considerable bite of that for something that is essentially crap.

Another common thing here is for real estates to pass their expenses onto the tenant and not the owner. Now I’m sure owners love this practise (hey I would too), especially when you consider that (for some of them anyway) all they essentially own and are therefore offering is an empty shell devoid of a kitchen or even light fittings. So when you want to rent a place, what you have to do is first pay bond which is always three months rent and then pay the real estate which is quite commonly two months rent. This means before one can even consider the possibility of a move you need to have five months rent saved away in the bank somewhere and as soon as you move in pay your one month up front. This is a lot of money!!! No wonder people stay in their apartments for years after finding a nice one.

So essentially what we’re trying to do is to find a nice apartment, not too expensive, that we don’t have to give any money to the real estate for (other than bond that is). An impossible mission? No, but very difficult indeed since this is what everyone wants. That’s why often the nicer apartments seem to be with real estates and they stay in their hands for longer, hence the real estate wants more money. When someone finally does move in, the landlord has very few rights hence the general disrepair and few extras as well as high bond of so many available apartments and the vicious cycle just keeps going on and on and on……………………….